Kaelyn is an excellent sleeper...always has been...IF you hold her.
Perhaps that is my fault. She was just so little when she was born. And I am a first time mom so I had nothing at ALL better to do than sit around and hold her! When she was first born I held her pretty much all night long in the hospital. She was eating about every hour so it was just easier to snooze myself in between feedings. When we got home I spent many nights in the chair in her room, sleeping when she slept and watching her eat between naps. I set up an old lap top computer in her room next to the chair so I could watch movies when we were awake. I put headphones on the computer so she wouldn't hear the noise.
I sometimes did put her in her bed and then I would sleep on the floor of her room. And occasionally I would put her in the pack and play in our master bedroom and sleep in our REAL bed. But that always wore me out more because I would just have to get up again shortly.
It was wonderful that my mom stayed with me for the first two weeks of Kaelyn's life. I got to nap often and try to recover from her birth and from staying up most of the night. I realized after my mom left that this new little baby would NOT sleep alone during the day. I would get her to sleep and then try try TRY to put her down and she'd just wake right back up and yell at me. I tried everything and everywhere. The car seat, the swing, the crib, the pack and play, even my own bed. She just would NOT stay asleep unless I held her. And her waking up meant many things. She would be crabby. I wouldn't get to rest either so I would be crabby. It was a vicious cycle.
So being a first time mom that felt like I really had no idea what I was doing, I gave in. I held her. For months. I could only get her to go to sleep in the first place if I held her upright against my chest and bounced around the house. We had quite a little routine. We'd bounce through the kitchen, into the dining room, past the back door, over by the bathroom, across the entry way, through the playroom, repeat. Sometimes she would fall asleep in minutes. Sometimes more like 20 of them. Or even an hour. But it always got to her EVENTUALLY!
Once she would drift off I would walk by the mirrors to make sure her eyes stayed closed. Then finally venture into the family room and try sitting down in the reclining rocking chair. If there was success and no yelling ensued, I would rock for 5-10 minutes and then attempt to put the leg of the chair up and recline. Finally, a break for us both! I would grab the pillow I kept nearby and take a nap myself, with Kaelyn on her stomach against my chest, snoozing away.
It wasn't the most convenient way to nap, but it worked for us. We both got to sleep for awhile and were much more fun when we awoke! I kind of felt like all I ever did was sit around all day, but I also felt like I was doing what I had to do. I tried everything and she just would not sleep alone during the day.
Nighttime was a different story. She was just fine in her pack and play once she got over having to eat EVERY hour. Though she did have some issues with her legs. She seemed to like to stick them up as high as she could in the air and SLAM them down as HARD as possible. Repeatedly. Sometimes after she ate I would have to stand there and pat her for an hour to get her to go back to sleep. I heard lots of suggestions...swaddle her (she would scream at me), duct tape her down (I figured that would probably be a little severe), etc. FInally I got so tired of hearing her wiggle all night long we moved her from the pack and play into her own room. At the age of three months. The first night she slept in her own room we BOTH slept better. It was amazing. I felt human the next day! She started only getting up maybe once or twice a night.
We still had daytime napping issues though. And I really didn't mind holding her. It was quite sweet how she was lay her head on my shoulder and go to sleep. But I didn't want to have to hold her for every nap through her napping years. I didn't want to have to go to college with her just so she could get some sleep after studying late into the night! :) Okay, so maybe I WOULD want that, but after she started sleeping pretty well at night and I didn't NEED to nap as much during the day I got kind of tired of sitting around all the time while she slept. I had to start trying to put her down.
Easier said than done and I prepared myself for some rough times. Around the 3 1/2 month mark Kaelyn could hold her head up SO well that she no longer needed to rest it on my shoulder and therefore didn't fall asleep nearly as easily when I bounced her around the house. I then switched tactics. I laid her back in my arms and cradled her and bounced. She couldn't hold her head up that way!
Once I decided to try to lay her down I would get her to go to sleep then slip her in the swing. This would occasionally work for a good 5-10 minutes. I felt like that was a success. Sadly enough! After trying that for a couple of weeks I decided it was kind of a dumb idea because I'd get her all used to that and then want to switch and get her to nap in her crib instead. So I should really just go directly to the crib.
I got out the Baby Einstein lullaby CD (which is great but I complain about it a lot because I feel like I hear it 40 times a day!) and played that in her room while cradling and bouncing her. Let me just say that yes, I HAVE tried to just lay her down and let her sleep on her own. If she's not mostly asleep when I put her in her crib she seems to think it's play time and her feet thumping and cooing begins. I don't want her to think her crib is a place to play so let the bouncing continue. I'm also not able to do the whole "cry it out" thing. If others want to do that with their kids, fine, I'm not one to tell you what's right or wrong! But I simply can NOT let my baby cry. Someday, when she's old enough to understand what I'm doing I may very well have to. But for now, sometimes she doesn't even know why she's crying, just that she needs something, and I'm always there for her.
Anyways, after a rough couple of days of a lot of yelling (on KAelyn's part, not mine!) I started to succeed a few times here and there with getting her to sleep and dumping her in the crib. Sometimes I would have to try several times before it would work and sometimes I would try for an hour and it would NOT work. But I knew the one thing I could NOT do was let her win.
Kaelyn is 6 1/2 months old and we're still doing the cradle and bounce to the Baby Einstein CD. I still occasionally try to lay her down and just pat her or let her fall asleep on her own, b
ut that's when she looks at me like 'what's up with this?!' or just starts yelling. And so we bounce... :)
But it is working for longer periods of time. At first she would only stay in her crib for maybe 30 minutes tops. And sometimes that's all the longer her naps are now as well. But occasionally she'll sleep for a whole hour, very rarely even two hours! Of course, I never get anything done during those times because I expect her to only sleep for 30 minutes!
At around 3 months of age, when we moved Kaelyn to her own room, she started sleeping really well at night, only getting up once MAYBE twice a night. She even slept through the night twice! But when she got to the 4 1/2 month mark she did some major backsliding. Not only did she get up a ton but when she would get up I would have trouble getting her back to sleep. She wouldn't be upset, she'd cry, I'd come in, feed her, and then she's be all happy and bug eyed looking like 'time to play mama!!' Um, no, I don't THINK so! :) An hour or an hour and a half later I would finally win and get to go back to bed. Only to have her screaming for me 5 minutes later. I don't know what the deal is or what I'm doing wrong, or if there is such a thing, but the next morning, when I feel like death warmed over, it's the hardest part of the day. I'm not much fun for her. SHe's got to be tired too because she was up as much as I was. But what do you do! For the last couple of months she's been going through phases. SHe'll have a bad week where she'll be up 5-6 times a night and not want to go back to sleep. And then the next week will be awesome and she'll just get up once, eat, and drift right back off. This happens to be a good week. Perhaps we've reached a turning point? Maybe next week will be good too? We shall see.
My mom keeps telling me to hang in there, it'll pass. The pediatrician says that no matter what she does sleep-wise now, she WILL grow up to be a teenager and then I'll have to PRY her out of bed. I know they're both right. It's just hard to think about that at 3am when she's all bug eyed and ready to go!! But after a night of decent sleep like last night, it's easy for me to say it's worth it! Talk to me after a bad night and I might have a different opinion. But all it takes it one smile or giggle on Kaelyn's part and I would say it's worth it again. Cause that's what kids do to a mom. Frustrate us, push us, make us think we're at our wits end, and then make us love them more than we ever thought possible.
I look forward to the day when I can post something along the lines of "Kaelyn sleeps through the night now!" But until then, at least we have plenty of time together and don't miss each other too much overnight. Something like that.... ;)
Perhaps that is my fault. She was just so little when she was born. And I am a first time mom so I had nothing at ALL better to do than sit around and hold her! When she was first born I held her pretty much all night long in the hospital. She was eating about every hour so it was just easier to snooze myself in between feedings. When we got home I spent many nights in the chair in her room, sleeping when she slept and watching her eat between naps. I set up an old lap top computer in her room next to the chair so I could watch movies when we were awake. I put headphones on the computer so she wouldn't hear the noise.
I sometimes did put her in her bed and then I would sleep on the floor of her room. And occasionally I would put her in the pack and play in our master bedroom and sleep in our REAL bed. But that always wore me out more because I would just have to get up again shortly.
It was wonderful that my mom stayed with me for the first two weeks of Kaelyn's life. I got to nap often and try to recover from her birth and from staying up most of the night. I realized after my mom left that this new little baby would NOT sleep alone during the day. I would get her to sleep and then try try TRY to put her down and she'd just wake right back up and yell at me. I tried everything and everywhere. The car seat, the swing, the crib, the pack and play, even my own bed. She just would NOT stay asleep unless I held her. And her waking up meant many things. She would be crabby. I wouldn't get to rest either so I would be crabby. It was a vicious cycle.
So being a first time mom that felt like I really had no idea what I was doing, I gave in. I held her. For months. I could only get her to go to sleep in the first place if I held her upright against my chest and bounced around the house. We had quite a little routine. We'd bounce through the kitchen, into the dining room, past the back door, over by the bathroom, across the entry way, through the playroom, repeat. Sometimes she would fall asleep in minutes. Sometimes more like 20 of them. Or even an hour. But it always got to her EVENTUALLY!
Once she would drift off I would walk by the mirrors to make sure her eyes stayed closed. Then finally venture into the family room and try sitting down in the reclining rocking chair. If there was success and no yelling ensued, I would rock for 5-10 minutes and then attempt to put the leg of the chair up and recline. Finally, a break for us both! I would grab the pillow I kept nearby and take a nap myself, with Kaelyn on her stomach against my chest, snoozing away.
It wasn't the most convenient way to nap, but it worked for us. We both got to sleep for awhile and were much more fun when we awoke! I kind of felt like all I ever did was sit around all day, but I also felt like I was doing what I had to do. I tried everything and she just would not sleep alone during the day.
Nighttime was a different story. She was just fine in her pack and play once she got over having to eat EVERY hour. Though she did have some issues with her legs. She seemed to like to stick them up as high as she could in the air and SLAM them down as HARD as possible. Repeatedly. Sometimes after she ate I would have to stand there and pat her for an hour to get her to go back to sleep. I heard lots of suggestions...swaddle her (she would scream at me), duct tape her down (I figured that would probably be a little severe), etc. FInally I got so tired of hearing her wiggle all night long we moved her from the pack and play into her own room. At the age of three months. The first night she slept in her own room we BOTH slept better. It was amazing. I felt human the next day! She started only getting up maybe once or twice a night.
We still had daytime napping issues though. And I really didn't mind holding her. It was quite sweet how she was lay her head on my shoulder and go to sleep. But I didn't want to have to hold her for every nap through her napping years. I didn't want to have to go to college with her just so she could get some sleep after studying late into the night! :) Okay, so maybe I WOULD want that, but after she started sleeping pretty well at night and I didn't NEED to nap as much during the day I got kind of tired of sitting around all the time while she slept. I had to start trying to put her down.
Easier said than done and I prepared myself for some rough times. Around the 3 1/2 month mark Kaelyn could hold her head up SO well that she no longer needed to rest it on my shoulder and therefore didn't fall asleep nearly as easily when I bounced her around the house. I then switched tactics. I laid her back in my arms and cradled her and bounced. She couldn't hold her head up that way!
Once I decided to try to lay her down I would get her to go to sleep then slip her in the swing. This would occasionally work for a good 5-10 minutes. I felt like that was a success. Sadly enough! After trying that for a couple of weeks I decided it was kind of a dumb idea because I'd get her all used to that and then want to switch and get her to nap in her crib instead. So I should really just go directly to the crib.
I got out the Baby Einstein lullaby CD (which is great but I complain about it a lot because I feel like I hear it 40 times a day!) and played that in her room while cradling and bouncing her. Let me just say that yes, I HAVE tried to just lay her down and let her sleep on her own. If she's not mostly asleep when I put her in her crib she seems to think it's play time and her feet thumping and cooing begins. I don't want her to think her crib is a place to play so let the bouncing continue. I'm also not able to do the whole "cry it out" thing. If others want to do that with their kids, fine, I'm not one to tell you what's right or wrong! But I simply can NOT let my baby cry. Someday, when she's old enough to understand what I'm doing I may very well have to. But for now, sometimes she doesn't even know why she's crying, just that she needs something, and I'm always there for her.
Anyways, after a rough couple of days of a lot of yelling (on KAelyn's part, not mine!) I started to succeed a few times here and there with getting her to sleep and dumping her in the crib. Sometimes I would have to try several times before it would work and sometimes I would try for an hour and it would NOT work. But I knew the one thing I could NOT do was let her win.
Kaelyn is 6 1/2 months old and we're still doing the cradle and bounce to the Baby Einstein CD. I still occasionally try to lay her down and just pat her or let her fall asleep on her own, b
ut that's when she looks at me like 'what's up with this?!' or just starts yelling. And so we bounce... :)But it is working for longer periods of time. At first she would only stay in her crib for maybe 30 minutes tops. And sometimes that's all the longer her naps are now as well. But occasionally she'll sleep for a whole hour, very rarely even two hours! Of course, I never get anything done during those times because I expect her to only sleep for 30 minutes!
At around 3 months of age, when we moved Kaelyn to her own room, she started sleeping really well at night, only getting up once MAYBE twice a night. She even slept through the night twice! But when she got to the 4 1/2 month mark she did some major backsliding. Not only did she get up a ton but when she would get up I would have trouble getting her back to sleep. She wouldn't be upset, she'd cry, I'd come in, feed her, and then she's be all happy and bug eyed looking like 'time to play mama!!' Um, no, I don't THINK so! :) An hour or an hour and a half later I would finally win and get to go back to bed. Only to have her screaming for me 5 minutes later. I don't know what the deal is or what I'm doing wrong, or if there is such a thing, but the next morning, when I feel like death warmed over, it's the hardest part of the day. I'm not much fun for her. SHe's got to be tired too because she was up as much as I was. But what do you do! For the last couple of months she's been going through phases. SHe'll have a bad week where she'll be up 5-6 times a night and not want to go back to sleep. And then the next week will be awesome and she'll just get up once, eat, and drift right back off. This happens to be a good week. Perhaps we've reached a turning point? Maybe next week will be good too? We shall see.
My mom keeps telling me to hang in there, it'll pass. The pediatrician says that no matter what she does sleep-wise now, she WILL grow up to be a teenager and then I'll have to PRY her out of bed. I know they're both right. It's just hard to think about that at 3am when she's all bug eyed and ready to go!! But after a night of decent sleep like last night, it's easy for me to say it's worth it! Talk to me after a bad night and I might have a different opinion. But all it takes it one smile or giggle on Kaelyn's part and I would say it's worth it again. Cause that's what kids do to a mom. Frustrate us, push us, make us think we're at our wits end, and then make us love them more than we ever thought possible.
I look forward to the day when I can post something along the lines of "Kaelyn sleeps through the night now!" But until then, at least we have plenty of time together and don't miss each other too much overnight. Something like that.... ;)
You are a FANTASTIC mom!!! I have to admit I felt tired while reading your post!!! You get a million pats on the back. . .she will be in awe of you some day!
ReplyDeleteI've read all babies have a different sleep cycle than us (unfortunately) and they reach OUR cycle at different points (thus why it takes some babies longer than others to sleep through the night). It's a development/maturity thing. As you know, it was 9 months for Logan and I really noticed the switch like night and day. I will pray Kaelyn's is very soon - that this good week continues in to a good month, and the next, etc.!