Baby Two

Kaelyn turned one a couple of weeks ago and since then I've noticed an increase in people asking us about baby #2. Do we want another? If so, when?! Chill out, that's what I say! ;)

Actually I'm quite undecided on the whole issue. The part of me that thinks Kaelyn should have a sibling has two parts of its own. One part that says it'd be best if they were close in age because then I could get the whole nursing thing out of the way and get back to having some semblance of a life. Rather than wait until Kaelyn is more independent and then get tied down again to a helpless baby. The other part of me says yeah, but if Kaelyn were in school then you'd only have to deal with ONE kid at a time during SOME parts of the day. Then a third part of me comes in and says, ah, one kid is plenty! :)

And that part of me is a large part. Kaelyn is my little buddy. I don't want to split my time with anyone else or take any time away from her. And she STILL isn't the best sleeper in the world, as in she's only slept through the night like 5 times in her life. Those memories and moments that AREN'T even memories yet (as in they're still occurring!) make me think one is enough...I don't want to go through all that again!

My pregnancy was healthy and normal but whoa, that was just no fun. Heartburn, feeling like a beached whale, following my stomach around everywhere, having strangers want to touch my non-existant abs, all things I could have done without. Plus I still haven't 100% recovered from it physically and wonder if I ever will fully be the way I was. Do I really want to do all that again?

So I guess it's up in the air for now. If I had to decide today, I would say Kaelyn is plenty. To some people that ask I say she's such a joy, I could never do any better so why bother trying!? But I reserve the right to change my mind. Maybe even tomorrow. Friends say you start to feel the urge for another kid after the first one settles in and starts sleeping really well. We shall see! IF Kaelyn ever DOES start sleeping well!!!

I am starting to have a little more of a life with her now. Not much, but I've started reading a little during her naps when she has a decent night of sleep and I don't feel like I have to nap as well, things like that. I think back to when she was little and how ALL I ever did was hold her, nurse her, change her, repeat. I still feel that way many many days but at least I occasionally get the option to have my own time. Occasionally! So it's hard to think about going back to having NOTHING of my own, day OR night!! Though a second child could be different, of course. That's what they say. But I would want to plan on a new one being the same or worse just to prepare myself!

So we'll see how things pan out in the years to come. If Kaelyn is it for us, so be it and she's a good one to have if she's the only one! If she's not...may the next one sleep through the night WAY sooner. Like months and MONTHS sooner! :)