Happy Birthday Kaelyn

Tomorrow at 12:01am Kaelyn will be one year old. Wow! She's no longer a baby. She's a big girl now! Sometimes I wonder what the last year would have been like had Kaelyn not come along. I would have worked. Read books. Watched movies. Slept through the night. All of the things that seem so normal. But I wouldn't have gotten any of the sweet smiles. None of the cuddles. No babbling sounds. I'll take the frustrations of being a mom just for the good moments.

I still can't say I ever really want to be pregnant again or go through all of the baby stages. I reserve the right to change my mind later. Part of me thinks Kaelyn should have a sibling but the other part wants to just put all of my time and energy into her and not worry about sharing it with another baby. Though knowing what I know now, if I had to do it all over again, I'd for sure have Kaelyn again. Late nights, early mornings, restless sleeping and all.

Everyone said a mother's love is like no other. Kaelyn can frustrate me to my wits end and then when she falls asleep in my arms the whole world melts away. The worst sound in the world is her cry. I just want to fix whatever is wrong and make her my happy girl again. The best sound in the world is her happy babbling and cute giggle. The best sight is her joy when she sees me after a nap.

Kaelyn, I hope no matter what the future brings for you, you know without a doubt your mama loves you! No matter what you do or who you become, that will never ever change. We made it through this first year together. You've taught me a lot about being a mom. It seems you survived okay even though I never claimed to know what I was doing! I hope in the years to come I can teach you a few things too and together we'll take the future by storm! I want you to be my best friend but you are now, and always will be, my baby. Happy Birthday